Being before Doing: Suffering and Knowing
Philippians 3:10 I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,
To enter into vocation is to suffer. Let me explain. In a job we have tasks that we do and things we accomplish. There are subjects that we study and expound on. But in vocation we lead people, love them, and are present with them. This close proximity to people will cause suffering in your life. This will come in one of three ways. First you will have to give things up to be with those people. Second, you will be hurt by those people. Third, you will have to enter into and take on their suffering.
I personally believe that the most difficult part of being a pastor is that there are many people I love who I don’t get to see. This is true for everyone, our best friends and family members don’t all get to live with us like some ‘90s sitcom. But many of my dearest friends are people called to ministry elsewhere. The friends I made in college and seminary were called to positions all around the world. Some friends I have grown close with through church planting live on the other side of the country. Deep relationships grown in missions trips and ministry have left me worlds away from people I hold dear. Your vocation, should you embrace it, will lead you to give up things you can’t possibly imagine.
The second most difficult part of being a pastor is being misunderstood or hurt by the very people you are trying to serve. Pastors have countless stories of people we’ve invested ourselves in turning on us because of a decision they don’t like, a message phrased a wrong way, a misunderstood communication. Again, this happens to everyone, but it hurts in a deep way when it feels like I am following Jesus in my life and still get hurt by people I am trying to help.
Last, vocation will require you to enter into other people’s suffering. For me to love people well I need to not only listen to their pain I need to experience their pain with them. Pastors need to weep with people, rejoice with people. We are called to be Christ to others by helping them to carry their sorrows and burdens.
So, why do this?
If vocation will lead to suffering then why would anyone want to do this? Because Christ suffered for us. Because Christ didn’t just suffer for us but rose from the dead because of his suffering. His suffering led to his glory. As a follower of Jesus the way to greatest glory, to experience the resurrection of Christ is to enter willingly into his suffering. This is the pathway of vocation, willingly entering into the suffering of others so that we might see the resurrection of Jesus born in both of us.
I think often of Philippians 3:10 where Paul writes that he wants to "know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death." In pastoral ministry, there is a unique participation in the sufferings of Christ. Not because we are martyrs, but because we are constantly pouring ourselves out for others, often without immediate return, and often while bearing their pain and our own. Embrace the call to suffer, God uses it. Suffering opens us up, humbles us, and sometimes breaks us, but it also reveals the heart of God.
I am shaped by their pain
I think about the students I have walked with through anxiety, loss, doubt, and depression. Their pain has changed me. Not because I solved it, but because I carried it with them. I held their stories, prayed with them, and let myself be marked by their humanity. Suffering has taught me that being a pastor is not first about solving problems but about presence. And in being present, I learn to know. I learn to know God more deeply, know myself more honestly, and know others more compassionately.
The suffering of ministry cannot be eliminated without eliminating the knowing. To be a pastor is to walk into the pain, not around it. To bear with people, not just teach them. This is shaping our lives to the cross of Christ so that resurrection life might be known in us and through us.
Maybe the reason finding vocation is hard is because it will require us to enter into different kinds of suffering. Maybe we bail when the suffering comes and never reach the joy of the resurrection on the other side.
Take Peace With You,
Zach
