I’m Not Alone

Breakout brunch at the Varner’s

I thought my first Sunday at Table of Life would prepare me for all subsequent Sundays.

I was wrong.

My second experience at Table of Life wasn’t a “potluck” – this one was a “breakout brunch”. Table of Life split into three groups and went to different houses – some at the McAlack’s; some at the Weiss’s; and some, including myself, at the Varner’s. In similar fashion to the potluck, everyone contributed some sort of breakfast item; our group enjoyed quiches, fruit, and danishes.

After breakfast, Bill led us through Acts 2:1-41, which contains the coming of the Holy Spirit, Peter’s recitation of the prophet Joel and his first preaching of the Gospel, and his call for the people to be baptized. After going around the table, each person reading as many verses as they wanted, Bill led a three-part discussion on the chapter: what Jesus was doing in the church in Acts; what Jesus is doing in Table of Life; and what Jesus is doing in our lives. We had a wonderful discussion about various parallels found throughout the Bible (specifically the New Testament) and ways we hope to see the church grow, but it was the prayer requests that made the biggest impact on me that day.

It started out as you would expect: someone asking if anyone had any prayer requests. After a few minutes of sharing and explaining, one member brought up the same struggle I’ve been having lately: feeling stagnant in my faith. Similar to my own experiences, this person explained that no matter how much they tell themselves to just pick up their Bible, just pray, just spend time with the Lord… they just can’t do it. How is it, they asked, that they can spend hours scrolling on their phone or watching tv, but setting aside that time to do something infinitely more important feels so hard? To hear that someone else was going through the same thing I’ve been experiencing lately was powerful – and strangely comforting. It made me feel like I’m not alone.

After the discussion of this died down, I felt that it was my turn to offer a prayer request: feeling overwhelmed. I love this internship with Table of Life, but this on top of two other jobs, spending time with friends, helping my parents with general tasks around the house, and trying to get out of my somewhat-unhealthy college sleep schedule feels like a lot. I don’t like feeling like I’m slacking in any area of my life – especially not in something as important as an internship or job – so I want to give everything my all… which feels a little impossible sometimes.

So, Amanda prayed.

And she said something so simple, so obvious, but something so unexpectedly profound that it stuck with me the rest of the day:

“Thank you that you’re with her in this.”

That hit me hard. How had I lost sight of that? The Lord is with me in this. He sees my struggles. He sees the nights when anxiety keeps me up way too late. He sees my frustrations, my to-do list with all its unchecked boxes, and my tired, lost heart. I’m not alone. He made everything that I am: my body, my mind, my soul. He, of all beings, knows how us humans work – and how we malfunction.

Whatever you, dear reader, are going through, you’re never alone. “...fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).